Jealous

Meet Kashi.

And Marley.


A few minutes ago I sat on the floor to play with them. Within seconds they were fighting each other because they both wanted attention.
Two hands.
Two dogs.
I can pay attention to them both at the same time. But they are so jealous of the attention that the other one is getting, they end up getting nothing.

As much as I hate to admit it, especially publicly, I struggle a little with jealousy. I see God blessing others or moving on some one's behalf and, though I'm happy for them, I feel a little jealous. I know it is terrible. I know it is selfish. It is one of the things I deeply desire to change about myself.

While I sat there, watching them fight in an attempt to get my attention, I couldn't help but think:
I'm right here.
I'm trying to be with you.
Don't you know that I'm capable?
You're wasting your time and you are missing out on what I want to do for YOU.

It reminded me of Numbers 11:23, "The Lord answered Moses, 'Is the Lord's arm too short?"

Is the Lord's arm too short to take care of all His children?

Anxious

I've always been navigationally challenged. It runs in my family. On a drive to Orlando several months ago, I found myself in a familiar situation. I suddenly felt as though I had missed my exit. I was unsure of my surroundings and, Google map in hand, growing increasingly uncomfortable. It had been a ridiculously long trip. I was tired of driving and more than ready to be at my destination.

I maneuvered my way into the right lane preparing to turn around at the next exit when I saw it: a big green sign announcing Orlando was 8 miles away.

God spoke to me. "You do that all the time," He said. "You always get anxious for the intersection."

It was a loving, convicting prompt. Its true. I do that all the time. I feel like I've been on this road too long and start getting anxious. Just when I think that I must have messed up somehow, God shows me a sign that I'm on the right track and I'm getting closer to what He has next for me. What lies ahead is going to be great! But I still have 8 miles (or so) to go.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7

...but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Phil 3:13-14

Keep going. Don't be anxious. Press on.

Yum

Struggles can resurface in your life.

Maybe you've dealt with it before. Maybe you feel defeated when you thought you had conquered this thing before. Maybe you want to confront it head on so you never have to face it again.

Maybe God is helping you peel the layers off the onion. (I know it is cliche. Stick with me, anyway.)

Each time you struggle with it, God is moving you deeper to the heart of the matter. I know it hurts. I know your eyes are watering and you are sniffling. But the center of the onion - the most potent, concentrated part - that's where the flavor is. And when it is all over, your sinuses will be clear.

Trustworthy

I love Mark Batterson's blog. Now that I have a "Smart" Phone (a global one!), I look forward to reading more. I was really encouraged by this blog:

Trust His Timing

Time is relative.

What I mean by that is this: the way we experience it is subjective. It depends on what you're doing. Ever been on a date with someone you love? Time flies. Ever been on a date with someone you didn't like? Speed dating isn't fast enough.

The way we experience time also depends on how old we are. If you're six years-old, summer break is 4% of you life. If you're twenty-five, it's 1%. If you're fifty, it's .5%. The older you get, the faster time seems to fly because relatively speaking it becomes a smaller and smaller fraction of your life! By the way, that is why when you were a kid, a two-hour trip in the car seemed like an eternity because relatively speaking, it was much longer for you than the adult who was driving!

So what?

Well, I think most of us have a hard time handling a bad day. We have a very low threshold for circumstantial uncertainty or spiritual discontinuity. We need answers. And we need them now. I would suggest that we need some biblical perspective. When we look at our lives through the lens of Scripture, our perspective on time changes.

We have a hard waiting for God to fulfill His promise. But what about Abraham and Sarah? They had to wait 15 years before Isaac was born. We have a hard time suffering for a season. But what about the invalid in John 5 who was in that condition for 38 years. And that's when the average lifespan was 20-30. We have a hard time waiting for God to make sense of our circumstances. But what about Joseph? He was a slave and a prisoner for 17 years before becoming Prime Minister of Egypt. Or Moses? He was a fugitive for 40 years! And we have a hard time waiting to fulfill our calling. But even Jesus didn't transition from carpentry to ministry til he was 30.

We need to zoom out and get some biblical perspective. We think in days. But we might need to think in years. Here's what I know for sure: those that God wants to use the most have to go through the longest season of preparation. You might have to struggle a little bit longer so you can learn some more lessons or develop some more character. You might need to suffer a little bit longer so God can reveal a little bit more of His glory in your life!

What I'm getting at is this: trust His timing. He is never early. He is never late. As we grow spiritually, I think we take a different perspective on time. It's less about chronos--time. It's more about kairos--timing. And for the record, He is far more concerned about who you're becoming in the process than when you arrive at your destination. Maybe you need to quit praying for deliverance and start praying for revelation.

One last thought from Acts 1: "You don't get to the know the time. Timing is the Father's business."

Not much has changed has it?

Grace and Compassion

Recently God gripped me with this verse:

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. Isaiah 30:18

God can't wait to show you how much He loves you. He will continually pour favor on you. He won't pass up any opportunity to be intimate with you. He's captivated by you.

The King is enthralled by your beauty. Psalm 45:11